I've been doing a lot recently. Busy. I have to do my daily Japanese, which is bloating up to around 2 hours of daily practice, and I also have to read big University textbooks, and now I'm also trying to learn Python and R-Programming -- at least at a basic level, all within a month. Plus, Tiktok and Foid-duties lay at the wayside, and I obviously have to get some recreation time into that. Plus, I need to wank, eat, sleep, shit... listen to my daily album, as part of the 1001 album generator thingy that I'm not sure I've told you all I'm doing, but I'm doing that. The issue with most of these is that they all require my complete undivided attention, it's hard to properly multitask, which makes it a pain to practice. This is why the website (and also my music stuff lol) is at the bottom of the looong priority list as of current.

Uni starting in a month does make me a little happy that I'm not just going to be sitting around doing nothing all day. If getting a job is impossible, might as well take precautions to ensure that when I do get a job in the industry, it'll be making more money, right? I like money. A UI/UX designer makes a good amount more than a regular Graphic Designer. Plus, once I get a job, I can finally get my investments in gear and make hella coins. Then, I move to Japan in a decade, and get a nice apartment or something (because I won't have a fucking wife by then, lets be real), and relax until I retire (then I can collect my LISA investments that have been stirring in the UK for a good four decades at that point) and bada bing bada boom, life complete. It's dull, but it's a plan at least. Maybe some realities will have to be faced... but ultimately, it's okay. I think.

So I suppose I'm doing okay. In general. None of my problems have really been solved since I started this... but whatever. It is how it is.

I've been thinking... I don't have too much to worry about in life. Not really. Relatively, I'm doing okay, and it's NOT over yet. I'm in my early twenties, with my birthday coming up September 9th, and I still have all of the rest of my twenties to get my ass in gear. I can relax, it's going to work out somehow. It'll take luck, but surely luck can strike significantly once within 8 years? Maybe by that time my Tiktok account will actually be financially successful, rather than netting me like £30 a month.

I apologise for this website not getting too much attention. First thing would be refining the film page, and maybe sorting things out for mobile. I also think some fundamental design changes have to be made, but I'll experiment with that much later. I want to have more things to bring out on a regular basis, and the little "thoughts" tab helped out with that. I floated around the idea of me essentially making lets plays, for the hell of it, out of boredom (do tell me if you want that, or something of a similar ilk). There's a lot to do, and I have the time to do it until I start my masters course later on next month.

Oh yeah, my masters course, I haven't really discussed this much beyond the scholarship, have I? I'm not going to be disclosing details, because I do try to keep my information private, but it would theoretically involve me learning how to make this website more user-friendly. I have sold out on creativity and I want to cash in on AI and data analysis, to be honest, and I don't care. I have downloaded all my masters recommended reading and I have started smashing away at these big chunky digital textbooks. Then, I'll graduate. Then, I'll get a job placement. Then, I'll move to Japan, marry a Japanese hag, and have disgusting wasian children.

Hello everyone, I've been feeling pretty down lately. I feel as if I've wasted this last year, just spent it entirely on my own with no friends or any exciting developments. I haven't had fun a single time, and I feel completely alone in the world. I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but I really don't want to feel so numb for the rest of my life.

I had my job interview today, with a fat autistic man in a blue sweater. This does put me in a good position, and I answered the questions to the best of my ability -- but come the fuck on, of course I'm not going to get the position. I've done interview after interview, but it never works out. I'm too autistic, and nobody wants to hire someone with no prior experience and no social ability. It's impossible, man. It sucks, I just want to better myself by getting into employment, but no, I can't even fucking have that. I can't have friends. I can't have a job. I can't even have happiness.

I haven't started any of the projects I told myself I'd start either. I'm so stupid. I can't accomplish anything, and I don't improve at anything, no matter how much I practice and put into it. I'm so trapped. What I want is incredibly simple, and yet I'm not allowed to have any of it. And I don't blame myself, I blame everyone else for failing me -- the education system, my peers, my government. I am NOT at fault for how my life has turned out and I am sick of being told otherwise by similarly useless and evil people. I feel like such a tool for complaining about this here. It probably comes off as incredibly pathetic to you, the reader.

Hi reader, are you enjoying the trajectory of this series of blogs? Is it at all interesting to read? The existence of this thing is more of a space for me to vent, and it isn't made for you, so your opinion isn't going to change how I do things. If you are reading this, though, especially you, please keep reading from week to week. Reach out if you want, even.

That's about it. I'm not going to be doing much, as I usually am. I am so fucking bored and fed up.

Good evening, everyone. I have plans for August. This is the month where shit happens. I started off this month by going to see Danger Diabolik at the GFT, which was a campy little romp I enjoyed very much. I also took the train, something I have not done in decades -- turns out, the train may save me money over the bus in the long run, and I won't have to deal with as many minorities! It is also quicker, and more fun, and I probably get a bit more exercise because of the added walking.

I also have a job interview on Tuesday, with the Coop. 12 hours, part-time, 'Customer Team Member' role. Retail is not something I have desired to do, but it's not too many hours, and it'll help support me financially when my gibs get taken from me in September. I trust it goes well, and I will rehearse as much as I can to act like a normal person. You see genuine lobotomites running the local stores, surely a more competent lobotomite such as myself would be desirable? The Coop is also nice because it's middle class, and it's right next to the train station, which is super convenient. Wish me luck or I will kill myself when your unwished luck loses me the job.

I want to do a little creative project -- a fully realised app prototype. I'm not sure what for yet, but it would be nice to have a comprehensive example of my UI/UX work before I start my more specialised course (with a scholarship to boot!). This would ideally be paced neatly throughout the month and I could get it finished before my course begins at the latest. I also want to read up on the 'required' reading for my course, as I feel as that would obviously benefit me, even if design books can veer into pretentious territory.

So that's about it for today, and the last little while. I hope hope hope to god these work out and I can actually achieve those goals alongside my usual hobbies.